Following New Trails...!

Well, I have some news.  [And no, I'm not pregnant]  Why is it that everyone assumes that's what's going to come out of my mouth when I said that?!  Is it my age?  Because I'm married?  What gives!? 

Anyway...the news... I've been offered a job!  Yes, another one! I know -- I'm crazy.  Didn't I just make a decision to stay with my current employer just 6 short months ago?  Yep.  That I did.  But hi, have you met me?  I'm compulsively indecisive, spontaneous, and non-committal!  So, I've been offered the job....now what?!?!  Ahhhh decisions, decisions - so let the agonizing and self-torture commence. 

Here's the problem with making such important decisions as this one - I am convinced that the decisions we make in our 20's, especially late 20's, completely shape the outcome of the rest of our lives.  My brain tells me that is a ridiculous notion, you can 'start your life over' and reboot at any age...right?  We see women do it all the time.  They start a career in their 20's, take time off to have a family, raise their children, and in their mid-forties, decide to take on a whole new career or journey all together.  And that is Ok!  More than that, it's inspiring and incredibly brave!  Our lives are supposed to made up of many chapters - who says I have to be an engineer for the rest of my life.   What if my next chapter includes being a dive master in Bali or a yoga instructor in Chile?  I could totally do that, right?  My point is we have to be able to make a decision for ourselves and feel confident in knowing that whatever that decision is, it's the right one for me now...at THIS point in my life.  For some reason, I've always struggled to maintain this 'twenty-thousand foot view' of what I want my life to be like in 10 years, or 20 years...  But that's not a life - I need to do whats best for me now.  So maybe it will only be right for me for the next 2 to 5 years, who knows.  But I have to keep reminding myself that it's not a 20 year commitment.  It's no secret that this economy has also greatly shaped the way twenty-somethings look at their career these days.  We have been told that we should merely be grateful to even have a job and that any sudden move or change, could result in your disposal, and standing in the unemployment line.  And don't get me wrong, I am eternally grateful for the blessings I have been given. I have sincere sympathy for those that are struggling in the job force because we all know this is a very real issue.  But for those of us who have been fortunate to hang on to the jobs we have...it seems that, on some level, we're waiting for the other shoe to drop, which resulted (at least for me) in a paralyzing fear to make a change, even if you're not happy where you are.  Anyway, I digress...

So here's what the job has to offer:

1. it's an engineer position...but with a bigger title - sweet! 
2. it involves 50% travel - if you know me, you know that this is always something that I have lusted over - there's something about the ability to incorporate travel into your everyday life that seems so eye-opening and alluring. 
3. the other 50% of my time will be spent working from my home office --- umm, hello?  sounds pretty amazing, huh?!  Now i can squeeze in a run, start a load of laundry, whip up some breakfast for hubby, and continue my path towards a rewarding career all while never leaving my yoga pants...sign.me.up!
4. i'd basically have my own department in coastal engineering - representing all of North America, the Caribbean, AK, and Canada.  This will be such a great experience for me, not to mention a resume builder.  So far my experience has been limited to projects in FL, TX, and of course grad school. 
5. opportunity!  the ability to move up, have more autonomy, expand my contact base/network.  It's a much larger company that's located world-wide....it also has an amazing exchange program.  So one day I could decide to request a transfer to work in Spain or Australia! 

Some cons: 

1. change and the 'unknown' is scary - it's all to easy to stick with what's comfortable... 'the devil you know vs the devil you don't'.
2. the travel - even though i listed it as a 'pro', it's also going to be a challenge to maintain some level of normalcy.  Being away from my husband is going to be tough - especially because we've gotten our routine down pat! And the ability to maintain my fitness goals, staying in touch with friends, family, and my pups :)
3. slightly different career direction -- I'm not so familiar with the commercial side of the business as consulting has been my only experience so far. 

All these pro's and con's keep spiraling around my brain.  Last night I went for a much needed run - and it turned out to be the best long distance run I've had in a while...you know the kind have when you don't even know how far you went bc you just keep going and going....lots of thoughts to process and pavement to pound!  So wish me luck on the decision making process... :) And while it seems that I'm complaining about that fact that I'm agonizing over this decision, this great opportunity is not lost of me....I'm a very blessed and lucky girl.